In “NO NEW FRIENDS: Rethinking Friendship in a Transactional World,” Alex Hormozi presents his extreme views on friendship in a thought-provoking video. The video centers around the idea that friendship is not a binary concept, but rather a transactional one. Hormozi shares his belief that friends should root for each other’s success, and anyone who resents their wins is not a true friend. He also emphasizes the importance of investing in relationships that yield positive returns and letting go of friendships that no longer align with personal goals. By challenging traditional notions of friendship, Hormozi encourages viewers to critically evaluate their own relationships and prioritize their own growth and success.
In the video, Hormozi also introduces his new book, “$100M Leads,” and discusses his investments in various areas, including YouTube channels and local businesses. He explains that the free content he provides is intended to help viewers grow their own businesses and potentially partner with him. By sharing his personal experiences and emphasizing the need for change and growth in pursuit of goals, Hormozi provides a unique perspective on friendship in a transactional world.
Introduction
In Alex Hormozi’s video, “NO NEW FRIENDS (My ‘Extreme Views’ on Friendship)”, he delves into his perspective on friendship and emphasizes the importance of not making new friends. Alex Hormozi, an entrepreneur and author, believes in viewing friendship as a transactional concept rather than a binary term. He sees the opposite of a friend as an enemy or rival, someone who actively resents your success and tries to hinder your progress. True friends, according to Alex, are those who actively root for your personal success and support you both in public and behind your back. For Alex, investing in relationships that yield positive returns is crucial, and pursuing goals often leads to changes in friendships. He emphasizes the importance of change and growth for achieving goals and discusses the concept of having seasons of friends and letting go of relationships that no longer align with one’s vision. Alex also talks about burning bridges as a way of pruning for growth. The longevity of friendships is affected by factors such as communication frequency and mutual support. Handling hard conversations requires treating the other person as a human being and accepting personal responsibility for change. Lastly, supporting and inspiring personal goals is an essential trait of friendship, even if friends do not pursue the same level of greatness. Passionate friends who inspire personal growth are highly valued by Alex.
The Author’s Perspective on Friendship
Viewing Friendship as a Transactional Concept
While some may find Alex Hormozi’s perspective on friendship extreme, he believes that friendship is not a binary term. Instead, he views it as a transactional concept, where the pros should outweigh the cons. According to Alex, friendships should be mutually beneficial, with both individuals feeling like they are getting the better end of the deal. This abundance mindset allows for healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
The Opposite of a Friend
To Alex, the opposite of a friend is an enemy or rival. He sees enemies as individuals who actively try to destroy his efforts, get him to make emotional rather than logical decisions, and distract him from his ultimate goals. These are the people who do not root for his personal success. While he acknowledges that people make mistakes, if someone actively resents his achievements, he considers it a one-way ticket out of his friendship.
True Friends Support Personal Success
True friends are those who actively root for your success, both in front of you and behind your back. In Alex’s opinion, this is one of the hardest things to find, especially in competitive environments. He believes that as your status within a group rises, people may try to diminish your status to make themselves less threatened. True friends, however, should support and celebrate your success, understanding that your progress benefits not only you but also your friendship.
Supporting and Rooting for Each Other
For Alex, friendship involves supporting and rooting for each other. This support should extend beyond public displays to private conversations as well. True friends will not talk behind your back or try to diminish your achievements. They will encourage you on your journey and genuinely want to see you succeed.
Investing in Relationships with Positive Returns
According to Alex, successful relationships, including friendships, are based on investing time and energy with the expectation of positive returns. He believes in the concept of abundant exchange, where both parties feel like they are getting the better end of the deal. In his view, relationships with high returns in terms of exchange are the ones worth investing in.
Changes in Friendships Due to Pursuing Goals
Pursuing goals often leads to changes in friendships. Not all friends will support your personal growth and evolution as you strive for success. Alex views this as a natural part of the journey and suggests that it is necessary to let go of friendships that no longer align with your vision and goals.
Change and Growth for Achieving Goals
Alex emphasizes that change and growth are necessary for achieving goals. Pursuing personal and professional aspirations requires leaving behind old identities and embracing a new version of yourself. This transformation can sometimes lead to outgrowing friendships and forming new connections at different stages of your journey.
Seasons of Friends and Letting Go
It is okay to have seasons of friends and to let go of relationships that no longer align with your personal vision. Alex believes that friendships, like seasons, come and go. Not everyone you meet will be a lifelong friend, and allowing yourself to let go of friendships that no longer serve you is a natural part of personal growth and development.
Burning Bridges as Pruning for Growth
The concept of burning bridges is often seen as negative, but Alex presents it as a way of pruning for growth. Sometimes, cutting ties with individuals who do not support your goals and success is necessary for personal development. By letting go of friendships that hold you back, you make room for new connections that align with your vision.
Factors Influencing Longevity of Friendships
Communication Frequency
Communication frequency plays a crucial role in the longevity of friendships. Regular communication helps to strengthen the bond between friends and maintain a sense of connection. By staying in touch, friends can support each other through life’s ups and downs, fostering a lasting friendship.
Mutual Support
Mutual support is another key factor in determining the longevity of friendships. True friends support each other through both good and challenging times. They offer a listening ear, provide emotional support, and celebrate each other’s successes. This reciprocal support creates a strong foundation for lifelong friendships.
Handling Hard Conversations
Treating the Other Person as a Human Being
When engaging in hard conversations, it is essential to treat the other person as a human being. Recognize that they have their own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Communicate with empathy and respect, listening to their side of the story. By approaching difficult conversations with kindness and understanding, you foster healthier and more productive communication.
Accepting Personal Responsibility for Change
Instead of blaming the other person, it is important to accept personal responsibility for change. Understand that you can only control your own actions and reactions. By focusing on what you can do differently and taking ownership of your part in the conversation, you create an environment conducive to growth and positive change.
Supporting and Inspiring Personal Goals
Not Pursuing the Same Level of Greatness
True friends do not have to pursue the same level of greatness, but they should support and inspire each other’s personal goals. Everyone’s journey is unique, and individual aspirations may differ. However, friends who genuinely care about each other will encourage and uplift one another, even if their paths veer in different directions.
Passionate Friends who Inspire Personal Growth
Alex values friends who are passionate about their craft and inspire personal growth. Being surrounded by individuals who genuinely love what they do can be incredibly motivating. Passionate friends can push you to strive for greatness, explore new opportunities, and continually improve yourself.
Conclusion
In his video, Alex Hormozi shares his perspective on friendship, emphasizing the transactional nature of these relationships. He believes that true friends root for each other’s personal success and continue supporting one another, even behind closed doors. Friendship undergoes changes as personal goals are pursued, and it is essential to let go of relationships that no longer align with our visions. Factors such as communication frequency and mutual support greatly influence the longevity of friendships. Handling hard conversations requires treating others with respect and accepting personal responsibility for change. Ultimately, supporting and inspiring each other’s goals is a vital aspect of friendship. While friends may not pursue the same level of greatness, they should be passionate individuals who inspire personal growth. By nurturing these friendships, individuals can cultivate strong bonds that last a lifetime.
